Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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