we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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