Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
