You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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