I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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