debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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