that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
