i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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