he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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