I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
