ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
All the doctor said was why
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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