just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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