shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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