in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
