every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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