I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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