Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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