you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
