So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
