Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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