I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Please don't give away my fajitas
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