Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
