we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
