people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Randomize
