I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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