would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
