Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
