He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
