So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
