Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
