I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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