I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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