I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
