just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
