today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
