There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
