You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
