Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
