It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
