Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
