It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it's great music for shaving your balls
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
