I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
