go do what you do best...puke behind churches
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
