so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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