im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
