He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
