This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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