Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish you could order shots online.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
