You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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