is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
