Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
