i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
