I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
