TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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