I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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