you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I will pee on everything he values.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
