Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
