need another drink. this is the easiest way
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
