so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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