i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
do nipples grow back?
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