Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
