Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
