Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
