Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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